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Cats, man's real best friend
So you guys read sideshow bob's article on how dogs are sooo much better than cats. Well for all you cat lovers(not the sickos) that got pissed instantly when they saw that article, I'm here to even things out. I love cats, every dog I had went right back to where it came from the next day, but I only gave up my cats because the land lord was bitchy about pets so I had to get rid of 'em.
Ok, reason numero uno why cats are better than dogs. Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark and Bark! You ever had that kind of dog, I know you have. That god damn dog that won't shut the fuck up. It barks at every moving object it sees. If someone comes over it's barkin up a storm, if a car goes by the house, if it sees a squirrel outside, if a leaf blows past the window, if titanium reaches it's melting point, if it sees another dog, if someone makes a loud noise, if it's trying to communicate with us, it just won't shut up so your forced to ever desperately try to tune it out or beat the living piss out of the dog(preferably choice 2).
Cat's = zero work. Dogs always needed to be watched over, you have to take them outside every time they have to go to the bathroom(which seems to always be at midnight), make sure they don't chew up all your stuff, nothing pisses me off more than finding half of my clothes shredded up and there's that dog sitting there with a piece of shirt hanging out of it's mouth thinking "that's right bitch, your clothes were gay and I was helping you out, now get the fuck out of here before I shit in your shoes." Not cats, they don't tear up your things or leave surprises under the bed. If you fill up their food tray and water you could go on vacation for 2 weeks and forget all about them. Of course there is the hard labor of cleaning out their litter box every month. Yes, sometimes that smells, but you can get cat litter that covers up the odor, or put the box in the bathroom because it smells like shit in there anyway. And what about the dog crapping outside, you ever step or fall on that pinched coil of doom.
Cat's stay the same size. You ever get a cute wittle puppy that you could just eat up, then a couple months later the things a behemoth and if it jumped on your lap it would crush you(and your balls). Not those cats though, they stay small and cute and fwuffy and cute and just a wittle fwuf ball of pure cutey wuty fwuffy wuffy goodness. Also cats clean themselves so you don't have to worry about cleaning them at all, unless you feel like torturing them and dipping them in the pool over and over.
So there ya have it, cats are better than dogs, end of story, the rest of you that don't side with me can just eat me and suck my nuts(preferably choice 2).
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Sorry, the last article showed a dead cat so I just had to show a dead dog in this one, and it was killed by a little girl, what a wussy dog.
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