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Cats, the dog's underling
Dogs…Man’s best friend. They stick with you through thick and thin. They are loveable, fluffy, adorable, edible, tasty, cute, yummy, and just plain great. But some people say cats are as well, but you all know what I’m going to say next….I DON’T THINK SO.
So what’s the difference between cats and dogs? Well dogs show their love more, and better. They are always looking for you, even when your trying to take a shit. I remember one time, I was on the toilet, and I forgot to close the door all the way. My dog poked his head in through the door, looked at me like he wanted to say, “Alright, I was just making sure you were still here.”
You don’t hear of Seeing-Eye Cats do you? Well, that’s because for one cat’s are too lazy to even go for a walk. And if they did somehow get a cat to take a blind person for a walk, they would both get hit by a car. I am constantly seeing dead cats on the street, and I think to myself, it’s a good thing blind people use dogs and not cats.
Dogs shit outside, not inside. Yes I know some dogs may shit inside, but mine doesn’t, he lets us know when he needs to go outside to do his faithful duty. But cats, they shit in a litter box. And man do those things smell like shit. But I guess they should considering that’s what is inside of them. How can cat owners stand that smell, you walk past it, and my God, it really friggin reeks. And for some reason, cats seem to decide they don’t want to piss in the litter box. They want to piss on the floor, or on the couch, or on your bed, or on your clothes that you may have lying on the floor.
Dogs are great guarders. If you train a dog, you can make it do anything on command: attack, sit, lay, roll-over, hump someone’s leg, whatever you want. But, what about cats? They don’t do shit, how can they attack someone? Oh no, not the hairball of doom!!! Ahhhhh, everybody run away it’s a hairball!! Maybe they could claw your leg, but than I’d just kick the little fucker across the room and that takes care of that.
So, dogs are obviously better than cat’s but I suppose you should read Jago’s article anyway, because it will be some funny shit, and I hope I brought you some laughs or tears(preferably tears) in this one.
No cats were harmed in the making of this article…..or were there?
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